My Blog
July 27, 2011
Transference in Therapy
I came across this wonderful article on transference at www.myshrink.com explaining transference and how it's used in the therapeutic process.
Transference
Reviewed by: Coquitlam Psychologist Dr. Carole Gaato
Updated: March 7, 2010.
Transference is one of those "strange but true" manifestations of the human spirit. If you are just beginning your work in psychotherapy and don't understand why you're feeling the way you do towards your therapist, consider that it might arise from the transference.
Working through transference is probably one of the most powerful ways of learning about yourself, of becoming more conscious and being able to let go of patterns (i.e. of both feelings and actions) that are no longer working for you.
Transference in psychotherapy is typically an unconscious process where the attitudes, feelings, and desires of our very early significant relationships get transferred onto the therapist.
In other words, as your relationship with your therapist deepens, the situation triggers familiar feelings related to previous connections with others. You begin to experience the therapist - in the present - in much the same way you had experienced a significant person from your past.
Transference in everyday life
Transference actually operates in all our relationships to some degree. The therapeutic relationship is not immune and it is inevitably encouraged just by the nature of the interaction. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. In the hands of a trained therapist, it provides a great opportunity for healing.
If tranference is popping up in your therapy, it's important to know that it is showing up to some degree in your interactions or relations with others. The therapeutic relationship heightens it (i.e. owing to firm boundaries), so it's easier for you to see. Once it's worked through, you'll have a better sense of how it was holding you back.
Now, this is something folks usually have a hard time wrapping their heads around: Everyone sees the world through their own perceptions. (Remember, infants must learn to see.) Our eyes see the surrounding environment in slightly different ways, unique to our own history.
And, it's been my experience, that we often only get the impact of how our perceptions create reality after we've gone through a life change.
As a rule of thumb, the more baggage we carry around the more likely transference distorts our perceptions and severely restricts our vision of the world. It's sorta like seeing black and white when the world is in full color.
You see, the brain shapes our perceptions to make it easier for us to tolerate conditions that are too overwhelming for our psyche to take in. An infant might develop this propensity in response to unmet needs. It's a way they learn to cope.
Conversely, the more emotionally "together" we are the more clearly we're able to accurately perceive the world and the people around us, without projecting our personal hangups.
Why working through transference is so beneficial
Basically, transference allows your issues to be experienced - not just talked about in a superficial way. In other words, transference makes your issues more palpable so you can work through the feelings being triggered and ultimately make new neural connections. Without it happening in the moment, change is only a left brain idea.
And, as we have mentioned elsewhere, new pathways in the brain result in different ways of being in the world and behaviours that feel natural and integrated.
Ideally, whether in relationship with a partner or therapist, certain factors need to be present for you to heal (e.g. attunement). That is, in fact, what we believe draws us to certain people…our sense that they can inevitably help us heal.
Without these conditions, you risk being caught in the same stifling dynamic that was the cause for the transference in the first place. (See the Dance of Attunement)
Therapy Tip
What's important to understand is that simple awareness of the transference is only half way to healing. To change your internal reactions, the brain needs to "experience" the transference in the present moment. This provides an opportunity for the brain to re-wire itself over the emotional issue.
This is why therapy is such a great change agent. Within the safety of the therapeutic relationship, you can experience your responses with fewer of the risks that are normally part of your personal interactions with others.
To benefit most from the phenomenon of transference it is essential that you be present with your feelings. Access your right brain, the seat of your emotions. A verbal discussion largely divorced from your emotional reactions will compromise your chances for real change, embodied change(see True Insight for more info).
What this might look like in a session is taking the risk of letting your therapist know your personal reactions or feelings towards him or her.
My Personal Musings
In writing this article I was reminded of a personal experience with transference. Over the years, I've come to recognize a part of me has struggles with an unmet need, a yearning to be taken care of. But it often doesn't show up in my close relationships, at least to the degree that I'm aware of it. That makes sense to me, because it would be too threatening for me to feel the depth of it.
So, where does it show up? It pops up in my interactions with office personnel in positions of authority. If a clerk in an institution has the power to take away or give me something that I value, then his or her reactions to me are potentially triggering.
Here's a recent example. On May 31st, I wrote about a difficult time I had with the folks at one well-known online payment processor. After several attempts at explaining my situation, the fifth clerk I spoke to appeared to understand my problem. She had a warm voice and seemed to sincerely care about helping me resolve the issue. She also had the power to do so.
Over the course of our communications, I felt safer and became more open, indeed more vulnerable. Then towards the end of the day, my last email was unceremoniously bounced. I was cut off!
Other folks might have felt frustrated and left it at that. But this disconnect sent me into a tailspin that took days to recover from. That's transference. Like a child, I felt cut off and abandoned.
The reality is, this clerk was only doing her job. It isn't her job to take care of me emotionally. But this is indeed the yearning that emerged. It was more important to me that she understood my problem than whether I would get my $500 back.
And, that's ludicrous when you sit back and think about it. Transference is just that powerful. It didn't matter to me that I understood the rationale for the cut off. Knowing it logically did not change my feelings.
Healing from Transference
When we feel transference with our therapist it is often experienced from a child-like state. This knowledge can help us in the healing. For what does a child crave but safety and attunement with their needs being met in the moment.
So, you can imagine, in the hands of a poorly trained therapist, how potentially detrimental it might be to a client's well-being if the transference is not worked through appropriately. Just so you know, transference is not something that is easily navigated by the client and the therapist.
Make no mistake about it. Experiencing your transference isn't always a cakewalk. It is far easier to have a nice chat analyzing your therapist's interpretations. But we already know that anything truly worthwhile cannot be attained without effort.